Not My Lance!

I can't believe he's gay! She was probably paid to be his girlfriend! I guess I must mark one Nsync member off my stalking list. I cry a little but he could always be converted, by me hopefully. I should've known. The great dancing and the perfect hair, too good to be true. Before you know it, George Michael is gonna come out. Luckily he's still straight.

And No One Sheds A Tear

Abdul Hakeem Hussein, 7, of Fallujah, Iraq, who underwent reconstructive surgery in March at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, listens during a press conference after his final post-operative visit before heading home Monday, July 24, 2006, in Pittsburgh. Abdul lost his left eye, and his eyelid; eye socket; jaw; and cheek were injured in an April 2004 U.S. mortar attack that destroyed his home in Fallujah, Iraq. A prosthetic eye was fitted to replace the boy's damaged left eye.

That was taken from the news. I can't look at the picture without crying, but we all should have to look at it and know that this war and it's accidents are pointless. Why are we still over there? What else is left there to destroy! Is this the price innocent people have to pay to search for one person?!

I know what people are saying, "Accidents happen and it wasn't meant for him." But don't they know what area they are bombing before they attack? Didn't they notice homes around that area and that maybe there might be people inside these homes?

People will see this picture and say how sad and then a few minutes later they'll continue doing nothing as if it never happened. They think that suppressing the image will make it better or it never happened. But I can't. He will always be in my thoughts.

Don't Mind If I Fake It!

I consider myself an actress. Where's the fun if you can't add a few, "oh baby", "do it faster", "don't stop", "you're the best I've ever had".

My boyfriend before the sick bastard himself was a total asshole. He was a hot ass but still an asshole. I put up with the relationship because he was hot but the sex was just plain. Just so he wouldn't ask questions like, "how was I?" or "am I the best you ever had?", I would scream out all sorts of obscenities during sex. He appreciated it. I'd would only have sex at my place because some guys like to videotape the sex and show it to all their friends so I only had sex at my place. I put a mirror on the ceiling and another mirror further away so that it could reflect. So when the sex was bad I would turn on the TV and watch it on the mirror while "faking it". I had closed caption and everything. The sex would usually end within a couple of minutes and the guy would fall asleep for the rest of the night. Sometimes I would accidently laugh while I was having sex. I would try and cover it up with a loud moan.

When I was in high school I went out with the classic football jock guy. He was slow, but sweet. He took me to Wendy's on our first date. I have to admit, he tried. He brought a bouquet of broccoli with him to give to me. I didn't know if it was a joke or if he was serious. I smelled the broccoli and smiled. What was I doing here, I kept asking myself. Then I looked to his beautiful blue eyes and beautiful lips which opened and burped. I had it. I went into the bathroom and called my friend to pick me up. When she arrived I snuck out the door and ran to her car. I had the unfortunate displeasure of sleeping with him after drinking too much at a party a few weeks later. All I remember was his face turning red and his entire body starting to shake. I thought he was going to explode. I slowly started to grab something to knock him out but he finished whatever he was doing and fell on top of me. After that I must've passed out with all the weight on top of me. I think he followed a few seconds later. After spending most of the day in a bath I still felt like I smelled like him. I never drunk again for weeks. I could never look him in the face again. Just the thought of him naked on top of me was enough for me to give up on men and go lesbian. Never again.

One guy I dated was so cute. He was the deep emotional guy that never talked but looked so sexy. He would always take pictures of me. When I eventually made it to his place and I saw his bedroom I noticed that one side of his wall had all pictures of me and another side had a giant painted picture of me. Romantic? a little. Creepy? oh yeah. He told me that he needs to experience this relationship on a deeper physical level. Funny, all guys seem to say that? Besides the pictures, he had cartoon character sheets. I was flattered and I told him that I can't be with a guy this infatuated with me. He said ok and I walked out. The next day I noticed him following me taking pictures of me. This lasted for about a week. I knew the break up was too easy. I eventually kicked him in the nads and he got the message.

But my boyfriend, I have to say I never had to fake it. He's perfect and I wouldn't change a thing, except his hair.

I have a million stories from all my friends that are so funny. I'll get around to posting some of them eventually.

Sorry, But I Have Standards

My boyfriend and I went out to a resturant the other night to eat. When we got there we saw a dead body being taken out. He, of course, didn't mind it but I thought that was just sick. How can you eat food casually right after a person dies inside the same resturant? It didn't phase my boyfriend. He knew how angry I was getting and we left to go to another restuarant. It was great. I enjoyed the food and I think he got a little sick after eating it. But morally things were ok.

OMG! I LOVE THIS!

I remember being in high school or middle school, so long ago, and so loving this song. I'm still in the process of getting more of my stuff from back home and I found my Backstreet Boys CD and it brought back so many memories. I knew all the dance moves. Let me check to see if I still know it..............oh yeah, I'm still cool, like I was ever worried about that.

Now every time my boyfriend clicks on my blog he's going be greeted with BSB! I'm calling all my friends right now so we can have a BSB sleepover like we used to. Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! You don't know how happy I am for something so small, AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I so need to stop this.

Back when I was teenage drama queen, me and my fellow BSB entourage all made this diagram of the boyband formula. Every boyband had to have a bad boy, shy quiet type, ugly but cool one, the extremely hot one, and the one everybody hates but you keep him in the group because you feel sorry for him. My favorite backstreet was Kevin. I lusted after him so much. When he got older and got the mustache and beard going on, I went crazy! I wouldn't mind popping out a few kids for him. *wink, wink* But I can't because I have an anti-boyband boyfriend. He might get upset if a backstreet boy gets me pregnant. Talk about awkward.

I'm not even as big of a pop music fan as I used to be. Pop has been dead lately anyways so I moved on to rock. I am officially a rocker chick now, well BSB will just be our little secret. And don't get me started on Nsync! Justin Timberlake!!!!!!! I'll save that for another day.

I can't believe I'm acting like this. Don't worry, I'll be back to my usual self within a few days.

Dear Diary: Destroy Her Emotionally

I found one of my old diaries from a while back and I was just thinking back. I read over a story that I wrote when I was 16 that really shocked me. I felt like I was reading a total strangers diary.

I'll admit that I have a very small temper nowadays, but when I was 16 I had this person that I could not stand. She would purposely try to ruin my day and my friends day every day. So on November 18th me and my friends were planning on getting her back. We wanted to copy the scene from Carrie where all the pig's blood falls on Carrie. Before I go any further, I'm so not like this anymore, as much. I'll just write what I wrote below:

Dear Life, it's November 18th and I'm getting my revenge today on a girl who has
took and ruined everything I hold emotionally. Therefore, I must destroy
her emotionally. My friends and I are skipping school today to get the
supplies and plan it. We are going to redo our own version of Carrie
on her. I can't wait to see the look on her face after this.

Dear Life, it's November 19th and the plan of Operation Bitch Destroy, didn't
work out as planned. Jennifer backed out and the other girls starting
backing out after her. When you want things done, you just have to do them
yourself. Their is no way I could do this all by myself. What was I
going to do with all this paint? (We couldn't do the blood thing because it
looked too sick)

Her mommy and daddy just bought princess a new car
a few months ago for her birthday. The bitch did say in my face that she
did key my car so I feel it's just right to get revenge on her car. I asked to be excused during class so I could do it while nobody is there. So I got the red paint
out of Jennifer's car and started dumping it all over her car. When it was
all finish, her car looked totally fucked up. I was so tempted to bash in
her windows but the alarm would've went off for sure.

We all waited after school just to see the bitches reaction to it. When
she came out and saw everybody staring at her car, she ran and saw it.
Somebody used spray paint and wrote "WHORE" on the side. Nice touch but I
had nothing to do with that. She was so fucking pissed. She screamed
and yelled our names. I stood up to the bitch and asked her what the fuck
was she gonna do? She turned her back and quickly turned around to punch
me. Then my friends jumped in to fight, then everybody in the parking lot
starting fighting for no apparent reason. The teachers came out tried to
break it up. Cops started coming too so we jumped in Jennifer's car and
drove off.

My parents paid for the damages and grounded me for most of the year. I have to say that the girl never bothered me again. I feel so horrible about the whole situation now. I knew I was a bitch in high school but damn! That's just plain cruel and unusual.